From couples to parents

You're all set to tread the family way and have a baby. Undoubtedly, the thought must be keeping you happy, but inevitably it might change the equations between you and your partner. Whilst you may be overjoyed at the arrival of your bundle of joy, but newer demands might strain your relationship to an unexpected extent. However, there are certain pointers that can make your transition easier as you go the family way. 

Do a finance check 
Shobha and Ramesh Singh were planning for a baby after three years of their marriage. Recalls Shobha, "We were quite apprehensive about starting our family. Though, we wanted the baby, but we couldn't make an estimate of the financial aspects involved. Ramesh kept telling me that we could manage, but I didn't want a situation where we would end up fighting over monetary issues. Finally, we decided to consult a family counselor."
Help at hand 
Psychologist Meena Tiwari explains, "Having a baby requires figuring out the basic cost structure. It's a happy event in every couple's life and one can make the most of it only when you can adjust everything in your financial chart. Money gives you the satisfaction and security to welcome the newest member. So, don't go easy on it. Consult others who have just had a baby. Overlooking your finances will only cause traumatic pressures later on, which can be avoided with proper planning."

Health check 
Bank executive, Reena Talwar speaks of her experience. "My in-laws wanted us to have a baby, but when I consulted my doctor he told me to wait a while, since I was anemic and my hemoglobin count was low. I was very scared and discussing it with my husband only led to arguments as he sided mostly with his parents. I just couldn't show him the reason for my reluctance. All this led to a lot of misunderstandings between us and I ended up hating any discussion related to children. It forced me to rethink whether I really wanted a baby after all or not."
Help at hand 
According to nutritionist Radha Sharma, women should go through a complete health check-up before opting for a baby. "Both the partners must ensure they have perfect health before they go ahead. Women especially should consume a proper diet with sufficient proteins and iron supplements to ensure that the pregnancy period is smooth. Also, a proper exercise regime ensures a safe delivery. People in our country usually ignore these aspects and suffer in the long term, especially if the child is born with a weak immune system or faces congenital problems. Often they want a baby at the cost of the wife's health, which involves a risk as grave as death of the mother or the baby. And it doesn't just end there. Incase of a wrong diet or weakness, the woman may not be able to bear a child in the future too."

Family support 
In the modern day, couples choose to go nuclear. However, it's always better to ensure your families' support when you decide to opt for a baby. Ravi Kulkarni, a manager with an MNC says, "My wife and I were living away from our respective parents. So, when she got pregnant, we were tensed about how to handle the pressures once the child arrives. Finally, my parents decided to come over although they did not want to shift. However, thanks to them, everything went off very smoothly."
Help at hand 
Explains psychologist Aakash Verma, "Parental support plays a crucial role for expectant couples. Having a set of parents or someone close around you provides a mental security to the mother-to-be. It ensures that the woman is happy and comfortable. The psychological temperament of the pregnant woman not only affects the mother, but also the baby. The heightened hormonal activity in a pregnant woman puts her at a risk of having mood swings or going into depression. Thus having a mother-father figure lends security and strength to the often nervous couple."

Love Is Blind, So Are Lovers

One Of My dearest Friend, he has taken promise form me not to tell his name that I should publish this. This is his own story. Please read this and let me know what you feel. Lets call my friend here Mr. Hari. So let me know about your comments on Mr. Hari. 

Everybody in this world would have heard this most popular saying - ‘Love is Blind!’. While I don’t know whether love is blind or not, because no girl ever ‘Loved’ me so far(what a shame!), I can certainly say that ‘Lovers are blind’ or in other words ‘Love makes lovers blind’. I would like to recall couple of incidents that made me to come to this conclusion.

1)        Year 2002 – 06, good old Engg college days! Days of fun-filled madness and Ultimate freedom. We were 3 musketeers staying together at Men’s hostel. One of us was a TDH guy (Tall Dark Handsome). And there was our Heroine, who was at Ladies’ hostel. Everyone used to call her Chapati, because her face was sooo flat, not to mention the unmentionable. (apologies for being so rude). Through one of his friends our hero met heroine. As you all know(and probably would have done it), whenever a girl looks at a boy and smiles, everybody will start pumping that boy saying ‘Man… she is giving heavy LINE, defffinitely she has some feelings towards you, go check it out, blab la’ . So even me and my other roommate did our fundamental duty and started ‘Lifting’ our hero day and night. Months passed by and they became close friends. So close that he used to be around Ladies’ hostel more that Men’s J. One fine night when we were partying, our Hero interrupted us and told – “Guys, I love her very much. And we have decided to marry each other”. Suddenly silence prevailed in room for 5 mins!!. Then he went on to say - “We make a very good pair right?”. “Yes yes, sure you do. Like Rama and Sita” - told we, helpless but to laugh within ourselvesJ.

2)        Last year I was in Chennai for some time. There I got to meet one of my childhood friends. He is a year younger than me. Some months before that he had called me to tell about his new ‘Girlfriend’. That time I had taken it on my pride, just as in Asian paint ad – “wah chote, ab toh tu girlfriend bhi rakhne laga” “aisa nahin hai bhayya”. One day while walking on Marina beach shore, ssatakh…, there popped a photo out of his wallet.

“Guess who?” he asked.

“OMG is she your girlfriend?”.

“Yeah mann, what do you think, how is she?”.

“Beautiful man, you are one big luckly $#@$, congratulations”. (to be frank, she looked like ok kind of a girl. Can say little below average)

 “Seriously bro. Never in my life I thought that I will marry such a beautiful girl!” he exclaimed with joy, and his face enlarged like a pumpkin J.

They say that – women ‘fall’ for wealthy men and men ‘fall’ for beautiful girls. 1^st part of this might be true literally, but the second part – ‘beautiful girl’ is a relative term. Beauty lies in the eyes of beholder.

I would like to close this very long blog with this quote which I read in some book. (not exact words) – “I follow the world’s most popular religion that - My Wife is so Beautiful and My Kids Are Smartest” J.